What really goes on in your head during a yoga class when you're supposed to be calm and Zen-like? We take a closer look with hilarious results.
Fit
June 25, 2018

The things we all think about in yoga class (but are afraid to admit)

We asked a few regular yoga attendees to be blatantly honest and tell what they usually think about during yoga, but generally won't admit.
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As much as we'd like people to think we're mindful and meditating during a yoga class, a myriad of thoughts pop into our minds. When you look around the studio and everyone seems Zen, here's what's more likely to be going through their minds. We asked a few regular yoga attendees to be blatantly honest and tell what they usually think about during yoga, but generally won't admit. 

"Are my pants see-through?"

This thought usually occurs mid-downward dog as you raise your rump skyward. A prayer for the person behind to 'not notice' is usually mumbled—something in the form of "Dear God, don't let them see my bogan knickers or visible pantie line"—while you make a mental note to rush and buy a new pair of yoga pants on the way home. Or at least squat in front of the mirror and contort your neck into a position that can double-check the transparency before you leave home. Of course, if they are see-through, you'll be dying inside and thinking about finding a new yoga class—one where no one knows you. 

"Please don’t let me fart"

Childs pose, the very words can strike fear into the windiest of us. This is one of the most common poses to cause you to pop-off. However, there are a number of wind-inducing yoga poses that are quite likely to result in a loud toot—the bicycle, downward dog and happy baby pose to name a few. Of course, look around the room and yell "Who did that!?" In an accusatory manner, laugh and offer $10 to anyone who can do better, or feign ignorance.

"Who cut the cheese?"

PPPFFFST! There a whiffy odour in the air and you're not responsible for it. No one seems to be owning up. Farting is an exceptionally natural body function and like we said, common during a yoga class. The best way to avoid collapsing in giggles is to try and be so absorbed within your own senses, that you don't let other people's noises and smells distract you.

"Lotus position...Easy peasy. I can do this! Okay maybe not!"

 Tight muscles and lack of flexibility can really make you feel like you're 100 years old. When getting down on the ground is painful, let alone crossing your legs, it's a sure sign rigor mortis has set in. Most people avoid yoga because they're not flexible, but it's one of the reasons they should persist. Don't dismiss yoga as being too easy, it's much harder than it looks.

"I am calm and zen-like...forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner!"

It can be hard to quiet a wandering mind when you've got a gazillion other things you should be doing. Looking around the yoga studio you may be convinced that you're the only one mentally making a list of what you need from the supermarket—you're not! Whether it's replaying conversations from the day or planning for the day ahead, allow yourself to process these thoughts and then concentrate on the task at hand—being calm and meditative.

"Really? There's a whole studio and you have to set your mat up right next to me!"

Every yoga class has them! The space invaders, the ones that no matter how much room there is the studio, they have to park themselves so they're a) right in your face or b) so close they're bound to notice your leggings are see-through in the light. Personal space varies between individuals. In China and India, people from these cultures are less concerned about personal space, but here in Australia, we're very much 'move it or lose it!'. If you're not comfortable with being jammed in, choose to work out  during class time that's not so busy.

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